Should I get involved?Sat, Aug 25th 2007
I am a single mother of two boys 20 and 18. I have raised them on my own for the past 6 years....through the toughest years of their lives so far and I've done it by myself. I haven't had a break from the responsibilities that come with that, i.e. their experimentation with alcohol, waiting up for them to come home, wondering how they will come home. We have turned the corner and I am burnt out. I was dating a man who has two boys younger than mine. We stopped seeing each other last year because he was assuming sole custody of them with the same problem as me....he was doing it by himself. We recently hooked up again and his kids are now 15 and 12. Although I have huge feelings for this man and he wants to give it another try....I can't help but feel that I would be going backwards..that the new found freedom I have now that my kids are older is well deserved. I don't know how much a part of his kids' lives I can be and how supportive I can be of him through the upcoming teenage years. I have tried to express my concerns to him but I think he thinks we can do it. I don't think I can do it. How do I explain this to him without hurting him...I don't want to go backwards as much as i love him. The kids mother lives in another province so he will be the sole parent as was I. It is a hard job but I've done it.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.